Last week, I had my first official commercial workshop. It was with Steve Pogatch, and he was great. I was nervous going in, but I read my practiced script, then did a cold read, and I’m really proud of how I did. I got good feedback and left with my head held high.
A few days later, I got the recording of the class. And I hesitated. My initial reaction was to not listen to it.
This harkens back to my operatic singing career and probably represents one of my greatest flaws as a performer: I struggled to listen to recordings of my lessons. I never truly developed an objective way of listening to myself sing. Sure, I could do it from time to time, but it was inconsistent (which may be a generous way of putting it). Even when I had a good lesson, I would listen back to just parts—often tough passages or high notes—and criticize myself.
That’s partly why I balked at watching the recording. It went well, and I didn’t want to screw that up in my mind.
So it took me a few more days to listen. I opened up the video with my therapist (asking her to hold me accountable), and we watched it together.
And guess what? It was still good! In fact, maybe even better than I’d felt in the moment!
So we were able to celebrate two things: that the workshop went well and I could listen back and appreciate what I heard.
