Breathing (and maybe feeling just a bit defensive…)

I started Workday Two in freeing the natural voice the other day and I’m hit with this on the first page:

Ouch…

Did I mention I was a competitive swimmer growing up??

So two out of the three.

I’ve never really been the kind of person who is motivated by blunt criticism — whether actual criticism or merely perceived. Sometimes I wish I were. I wouldn’t mind being the kind of person who gets yelled at and then says “fuc…” (wait, should I cuss in this blog?) …“screw you! I’m going to prove you wrong.” I’ve certainly been motivated by a chip on my shoulder, but that often turns inward. Proving someone wrong isn’t usually my vibe, for better or for worse.

However, to my surprise, I am thinking “screw you” a bit right now. It’s not that I’m angry at Kristin Linklater. I’m still going to work through the book and commit to it. Besides, I’m liking everything else it says so far.

That said, I do disagree with her assessment. Or, at the very least, I’m looking beyond the written word into the deeper meaning. (Please let there be a deeper meaning…)

I have spent decades learning breath control. That’s one of the fundamental — or perhaps the fundamental — technique to singing. In this book, the focus is on natural, involuntary, release of breath.

But, I don’t necessarily think that my years of training with operatic breathing is a disadvantage. Rather, I am just starting for the opposite end of the spectrum from, for lack of a better term, “normal” person.

At one end of the spectrum is someone who has never really thought about breath and only has the years of bad habits built up by living life, which is stressful and can bring about tension. And I’m on the other end, being someone with, in terms of voice over, too much time spent on “extreme” breathing. And, sure, I bring my own bad habits, too.

I’m choosing to think of this as an advantage. I understand the mechanisms of voice and breathing. And I’m going to use my understanding not to undue all that I’ve learned, but to learn new ways to use my voice. I’m not tossing out my vocal toolbox, I’m just expanding it.

I just refuse to believe all of my vocal studies are a hindrance. And I don’t say that begrudgingly. It’s my motivation.

I also acknowledge that I have plenty of work to do. I wouldn’t commit to this if I thought it’d be easy.

So, screw you!

But also, you’re cool.